The Road We Follow
by Wisegirldemigodpercylover
Summary: Sequel to In This World. Cas and Dean are finally on the road trip they have been dreaming of, but what will happen if Cas's past catches up with him. Will Dean be able to help him or will he have issues of his own?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys! So I am all rested up and ready to write my new story. I am excited to be on this journey with you and can't wait to see what happens. Thank you for reading my first story and I hope you all enjoy this one. I love you guys._

Dean's POV

The clatter of dishes and mumble of words mend together in the little bar in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Lifting my hand, I slowly take a sip of my beer. I sigh and begin to rub my temples. It has been four months since Cas and I left our little home town. The trip was great that is until Cas started to get uncomfortable and now he is always mad. The best part is he won't even talk to me about what is causing him problems. I love him, but I feel as if the emotion is not shared. Getting lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice when the waitress walked up.

"Sir?" I snap out of my daze and look up. The tall blonde girl smiles at him. She was pretty but not my type.

"Yes. Sorry."

"It's fine sugar. Is there anything you need?" She leans in.

"If you know how to talk to people who hate you that would be great."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I can't get my damn husband to talk to me."

"Oh honey. What makes you say he hates you?" She straightens up, determined to help me with my problem.

"We are on a road trip and he was fine at first but now he is angry and frustrated at everything. He won't tell me what is wrong. It's like he doesn't want me to care about him anymore."

"Hey, it sounds to me that he just needs space, maybe a romantic gesture. I can tell you that he doesn't hate you."

"What makes you say that?" She smiles and starts to walk away.

"No one would give up on a face like yours." She laughs and I nod, chuckling slightly. Maybe she is right. Maybe I do need to do something romantic for Cas.

Cas's POV

Dean left hours ago and now I am starting to get nervous. I know I have been acting terribly to him, but for some reason whenever I am with him I remember. I just want to curl up with him, but I can't without yelling or crying.

The last time I told Dean I loved him was a month and a half ago. It has been a month since Dean started running of on his crazy bar extravaganzas and it is all because of me. I need to do something to show him I love him. I need to express how I feel. I need to tell him why I have been acting this way.

The door opens and shuts quickly, but quietly. I turn to see Dean standing in the doorway. He pauses awkwardly rubbing his neck. Before I could stop myself I run over, wrapping him in my arms and placing a tender kiss on his lips.

"Dean, I am so sorry." Dean looks at me shocked before smiling and wrapping his arms around me.

"It's about damn time. I was missing those lips of yours." I shake my head, leaning my forehead against his.

"Shut up." He frowns and I smile even wider. "I love you. God I love you so much it hurts. I am so sorry for treating you so poorly, you didn't deserve it. I promise to talk to you. You will nev…" Dean kisses me again.

"You talk too much." He pecks my lips again. "I love you too. Hey do you want to go out?"

"Of course, just let me change." I look him over. He was in jeans, a blue shirt, and his trench coat.

"You look fine. Wonderful actually." His green eyes twinkle as he looked at me.

"Really?"

"Absolutely. I mean you always look great and extremely sexy." I scoff and push Dean gently. "Hey it's true."

"Whatever, let's go before that charisma becomes the death of you."

"Ooh I like the sound of that." He smirks as he walks out the door with me in follow.

We sit in a small restaurant. Dean and I sit opposite from one another. Dean is making small talk when our waitress comes over.

"What can I get you guys?" Her eyes linger a little too long on Dean, but I shake it off.

"I don't know about him, but I would like a cheeseburger." I smile at her and she quickly jots it down before looking back at Dean.

"I would like the same and a piece of apple pie." Dean smiles and the girl blushes.

"Alright I will be right back with your food." She smiles before turning away with a small wave to Dean."

"She thinks you're cute." I pick at my trench coat.

"Huh?"

"Don't tell me you are that oblivious."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Dean our waitress was ogling you like you were a piece of chocolate."

"Oh, hey I don't notice those things, because I only have eyes for you."

"It's a good thing you are super charming and very, very handsome." Dean smiles and leans over the table, trying to kiss me. "I am not kissing you just because I said you were charming and attractive."

"Fine." He slumps back into his seat, pouting. I laugh.

"What are you five?"

"Maybe, at least five year olds get kisses." I roll my eyes just as the waitress places our meals in front of us.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" She looks at me quickly before her eyes land on the man across from me.

"No, I think we are alright."

"Oh ok." She smiles shyly.

"Wait!" She looks up excitedly. "If you could get my husband a piece of this pie that would be great." She looks shocked as she looks between us before nodding.

"Dean, why did you do that?"

"Hey I was just letting her know that I was taken by the gorgeous man across from me." I blush and lean over the table giving Dean the kiss he was waiting for.

 _I hope you liked the first chapter of the road we follow._


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys so this update is super late and I am sorry for that. I just got really busy, but I am back and ready to work hard on this story. I have also created a new way to show a break in the story since I found out mine didn't work before, so here is what it will look like. ~SPN~_

Cas's POV

Hand in hand, Dean and I walk along the sandy beach. The sun is slowly setting, causing the water to glistening in the orange and red light. I sigh, content. Turning to look at Dean, I see a small smile on his face.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just how amazing this feels." He looks at me, his eyes full of adoration and joy.

"I know what you mean." I lean my head on his shoulder and Dean wraps his arm around my waist. "Dean, thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Just for being so understanding and patient. I am sorry that I have been rude and that we haven't been able to have more moments like this in the last month."

"Hey, it's alright. What matters now is that we are together."

"I know, but you must have hated me and wished you never married me." Dean stops suddenly and I look up at him. Turning to me with tear filled eyes he grabs my face.

"Cas, I could never hate you. I never stopped loving you even for that rough time. I mean everyone has a rough patch, but god, please don't say I regret marrying you because that is the worst thing imaginable. I married you for a reason and I don't regret it one bit. I love you with every inch of my being and god I would never let that go for anything." I shiver at his words before raising my hand and wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I… Dean…" Not able to find the right words I pull him into a kiss, expressing all my gratitude, love, passion, desire, and happiness into it.

"I love you so much Cas." He breaths as we pull away. I smile, panting slightly.

"Dean, I need to tell you why I was upset." He nods. "I was… I was hurt. The thoughts of killing Zachariah have been haunting me and whenever I was around you it seemed to have gotten worse. I was so lost Dean. It hurt so badly because I didn't know what to do. Dean I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Now my heart aches more for I didn't tell you and got you hurt in the process. I just feel as though I am hurting everyone. I am just going to get everyone I love or once loved killed. I can't imagine losing you, but I know it will hurt like hell if I do. I mean, damn it, I am so lost and so torn and so broken I don't know what to do." I drop down on my knees, putting my face in my hands. Tears pool in my hand, leaking through my fingers. "I needed your help and I still do, but I don't know how to ask. I don't know what to say. Dean…" I choke and continue to sob, shaking. I feel hands pull on mine, pulling them from my face. Then I feel a warm embrace as Dean pulls me to his chest.

"Shhh. It's alright baby. I am here for you now. It doesn't matter what happened in the past. I promise I will always be here." He kisses my head and continues to comfort me on the empty, peaceful beach.

~SPN~

I lay curled up in Dean's embrace as the sun streams in through the blinds. Recalling the events of the previous night, I smile. I know I made things complicated between Dean and me over the past month, but that is in the past and now we are ready to move on together. I know Dean will always be here.

"Good morning angel."

"Morning handsome." I smile up at him and he smirks.

"Handsome?"

"Shut up." I lay my head on his chest, taking comfort in the rise and fall of it. "You know you are adorable."

"Well yeah I know that, but you said handsome. Last time I checked those mean two different things." I smack his arm and he chuckles.

"You're lucky I love you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means no one else is willing to deal with your ego."

"Hey, girls found my ego and personality very intriguing."

"Yes, but you're not with a girl now are you."

"Yeah I found something so much sexier." One of his dashing smiles appears on his face.

"Wow how flattering." I roll my eyes.

"What sexy not enough? How about gorgeous, enchanting, brilliant, lovable, kissable, superb, and so much more?"

"That's a little better." I smirk before kissing him on the lips. Dean brings his hand to my neck and I wrap one around his waist and the other goes to his cheek. Even though we have kissed many times before this one felt so different and so much more powerful, I melt into it never wanting it to be over. Dean smiles into the kiss before slowly pulling away. I begin to pout, but Dean quickly fixes that when he runs his fingers through my hair and gently kisses my neck. I sigh, even though we have our passionate moments these moments are better. Where simple, innocent touches mean the world and just being held and kissed by the man I love was the greatest thing anyone could experience.

"Cas, I am going to head out and get some food for us." Dean whispers.

"Ok." Dean slowly pulls himself from me before heading to get ready. Lying back onto my pillow, I relax. Closing my eyes, I begin to drift off, that is until I hear a loud bang.

 _Again sorry it is so late and it is another filler chapter, but it is going somewhere obviously by the last sentence. Please Review and I love you guys more than you will ever know._


	3. Chapter 3

Cas's POV

"Dean?" I hear no reply just another loud bang. "Dean!" I jumping up I run out of the motel room. Closing my eyes, I do a quick sweep of the area. "Dean, I am coming don't worry." Making way to the Impala, I find Dean curled up by one of the tires. "Hey, hey babe, look at me. Dean, please look at me." Dean groans, shifting to face me. "I am going to heal you alright?" He nods slightly. Tapping his forehead, his wounds begin to fade until they are no more.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Are you alright?"

"I am now, but I am pretty sure someone is after us."

"Really?"

"What?"

"You were just shot and…" I throw my hands up and walk back to the motel room.

"Cas!" I ignore him slamming the door shut. Keeping my back to the door, I lie on the bed. "Cas?" I hear a whisper as the door opens. The bed slumps next to me as a body lies down next to mine.

"Dean, why don't you ever think about yourself?"

"Cas, what are you talking about?" Dean places a hand on my back.

"You know damn well what I am talking about. You could have just died and if you die I can't bring you back. Sometimes it feels like you don't even care."

"Where is this coming from?"

"It is coming from you not even caring that you were shot and making a joke on someone hunting us. That is not something to joke about! Dean he hurt you and you don't even take a second to think about it! I don't want to find you dead damn it, I don't." Arms wrap around me, pulling me into a warm embrace.

"I am sorry. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I am fine, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but what happens if you weren't?"

"Babe, you don't need to worry for me. I am here and I promise I always will be."

"You can't promise that."

"But I am; nothing can keep me from you."

"Dean, please don't make promises you can't keep."

Dean kisses my shoulder. I turn and look at him, he has a small smile. "I promise to be with you as long as I can. I will not let you go, even after death."

"Just please be careful."

"I will." I nod before getting up and walking to the bathroom.

"I am going to shower."

"You're an angel you don't need to shower."

"Yes but I need some time to cool down." I close the door and lean against it. I am not exactly mad, but there is so much I have done for Dean and more things that I would do. I don't want him to get hurt for some silly reason. This does leave the question of who shot Dean and why.

Pulling myself away from the door, I turn on the shower. Stripping out of my clothes, I step in. I let the water sooth my muscles and conscience. Taking deep breaths; I let my fear and anger slip away. Turning the nozzle of I step out, wrapping a towel around my waist. Running a hand through my wet hair, I open the door and walk out.

Dean's eyes meet mine as I head for my duffel bag. As I rummage through my stuff, I feel strong arms wrap around my waist and a kiss on my neck.

"You are beautiful. You know that?" I shrug, trying to pass it off as if I don't care, but I have a small smile on my face that Dean can't see. "You are, don't doubt it."

I don't answer and continue to look through my stuff, pulling clothes out. "Look I am sorry. Please don't be mad. The truth is Cas, I don't care if I die or not as long as you will be alright and survive."

"I wouldn't be alright if you died though." I whisper.

"I realize that, but Cas I will tell you this if it comes down to it I would choose your life before mine."

"And you need to know I would do the exact opposite. Dean you are human, you are hurt more easily. I can sustain more injuries than you."

"I guess when the time comes we will see who makes the final move." I nod, tensing up. I don't want Dean to make the last move. Grabbing my clothes I head back to the bathroom to change.

~SPN~

Dean's POV

I watch as Cas retreats to the bathroom for a second time. Sighing, I collapse on the bed. Why is Cas being so stubborn? I truly am sorry, doesn't he understand? I only…

A ringing sound catches my attention. Turning I notice the motels room ringing.

"Hello?" I pick up the phone.

"Hello Mr. Winchester we have a call from a Mr. Sam Winchester, would you like me to put you through?"

"Yes." I hear a small buzz as the receptionist presses the button transferring the call. "Hey Sammy."

"Dean!" I hear panic in Sam's voice.

"Sam, what is it?"

"It's… it's Jess!"

"What happened?"

"Dean, she's dead. I lost Jess." I feel my heart stop and I fall to the floor.

"What about the twins?"

"I…I lost them too." His voice cracks and I can imagine the tears streaming down his face."

"How?"

"Explosion. The engine of the car exploded."

"God, Sam. I am so sorry." I feel a tear slide down my cheek.

"I don't know what to do. I am so scared Dean. All I have ever cared about gone. I have no one."

"Hey, hey you have me. You have Ellen, Bobby, and Jo, we are your family Sam."

"I just can't believe she's gone. Dean, I can't believe it. Why was someone so beautiful taken from this world, taken from me? What did I do wrong?"

"Shh. Sam you did nothing wrong."

"It doesn't seem that way."

"I'm coming home, alright?"

"What about your road trip? Your dreams? What about Cas?"

"Don't worry about any of that, you need me and I will be there for you. Plus Jess was my family too." I hear a small sniffle on the other end.

"Ok."

"Will be there by tonight."

"Aren't you in Michigan?"

"You know how I drive." I hear a painful, small laugh.

"Thanks Dean."

"See you soon." I hang up. Jess is really dead? I didn't realize I hadn't moved until Cas clears his throat. I look up. Cas's head is tilted and his face holds a look of concern.

"What was that?"

"We are going back."

"Where?"

"Home. Jess was killed, along with the twins." Cas's eyes grew wide.

"How?"

"Explosion." Tears fill Cas's eyes, but instead of falling to the floor he immediately starts to pack.

"We better get going." I nod, a little surprised at Cas's quick movement. Sometimes I forget how strong he is. I forget I am human, weak and tiny, especially compared to a being of power and grace.

"Cas, why?"

 _Sorry it took me over a month to get this up. I had severe writers block, GISHWHES, and school. I am truly back and ready to write. I hope you like the chapter and I am sorry for the wait. Thanks for sticking with me. Please review, they keep me writing._


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey guys so this will be the only update of this story until next weekend. I am going to Kansas and won't be back until Monday night, than I have school. I will try to update on Friday off next week, but if I don't it will surely be next weekend. I do love you guys so much._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural_

Cas's POV

"Cas, why?" The question takes me by surprise as I try as quickly as possible to get everything together.

"What do you mean?" I squint at him tilting my head, confused.

"I mean why did Jess have to die and the kids. Sam didn't deserve this. If either of us deserved this, it would be me."

"Dean, why would you believe that this should happen to you not your brother?"

"Because I have done so much evil, while Sam is so innocent, sweet, and caring. I have done nothing good with my life." He looks down. Rushing over, I put his face in my hands.

"Dean you have done so much good. Every time I look at you I see something that is pure. It doesn't matter if you have done evil, everyone has, what matters is if you believe in yourself and that you can be saved."

"I don't. I don't deserve to be saved. I don't deserve a brother like Sammy and I definitely don't deserve you."

"You know what Dean! You have me, you have your brother, and you are saved and your life is precious. I would give anything to have a life like yours. You have a family who loves you. Sam and I love you. I am sorry for what happened to Sam. I loved Jess, but some things can't be stopped or reversed, if so I would have done so years ago. Now I want you to straighten up, because this is not your fault and I don't want to see you hate yourself for something you did not do." I look at him in the eyes making sure he knew that I wasn't messing around.

"You're right." Dean sighs and gets up. Finishing up our packing, we set out for our long drive.

The ride there was mostly silent, only the sound of Deans music playing faintly in the background. I stare out the window, looking at the passing trees.

Dear God, Why did you do that to Jess and Sam? Why would you kill unborn children? I thought you cared about your people. Why would you do this, goddamn it. I am one of your servants and I am supposed to help you, but how can I be of service when I have no idea what you are doing. I would never have killed them and I wonder why you would. What am I supposed to do?

"Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"It's not of importance."

"Don't give me that. Cas, I know when you are thinking of something important."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because I know you."

"I was just wondering why God would do this to you and Sam."

"It's because he's not there. Even if he was he doesn't care about me."

"He is there. I am an angel after all."

"Yes, but have you actually seen him or met him?"

"No."

"See now you have no proof."

"My proof is my faith."

"That is not proof."

"I put my faith in you and you came through."

"Yeah, but that is different, you know me and I am real."

"I believe God is real and he will come through, whatever plan he has."

 _Sorry it is such a short chapter but I had to get this done for I have to get ready to go to Kansas. Pease leave a review. I promise next chapter will have Sam._


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey guys I have not been here in a long while, but my computer broke, went to Kansas, got sick, had schools projects, and musical related things. I am very sorry for the long absence._

Dean's POV

Pulling up to the small house that held all my childhood memories, I shiver at the coldness it seemed to bare. So much has happened in the few months we have been gone and it as if this place holds little happiness anymore.

"Dean?" I snap out of my thoughts turning to look at the understanding blue eyes. "Do you want me…"

"No, I can handle it. Just promise me you will be there for me."

"I will. I always have." Cas smiles softly before getting out of the car. Reaching for my hand, he pulls me out of the car. "I love you."

"I know. I just… it hurts."

"I loved them too." He squeezes my hand as we walk up to the house. "Sam!" Cas opens the door, stepping inside with me right behind.

"Sam!" I look around, until something mutters to my left. Heading for the kitchen, I spot Sam slumped in a chair, a bottle of whisky in hand. "Oh Sammy." Letting go of Cas's hand, I run to my brother's side.

"Hey, you know I guess it was my fault." Sam mumbles.

"Shh. No Sammy, it is not your fault."

"It has to be. I wasn't there, I got her killed. You know what is funny? I thought we were finally gonna be happy, I thought we got what we wanted. I guess I got what I deserved."

"Ok, you did not deserve this and if God even does exist he is an asshole for doing this. Now despite that it is in no way your fault, blame me, I moved away. I had a responsibility and I ran from it, for what? I promise you that this is not your fault."

"Dean? Why?" Tears fill Sam's eyes as he looks at me.

"I don't know, but I will find out who did this, even if it kills me. I deserve that much."

"Dean…" Sam starts to cry.

"Hey, let's get you to bed." Picking him up, I take him into the bedroom and lay him down. "I promise that I will everything I can to help you, no matter what." I whisper for Sam has already fallen asleep.

Walking out of the room, I head back to the kitchen.

"Hey Cas…" I get to the kitchen, noticing he is not there. "Cas?" I continue to search the house, but to no avail. Storming out of the house, I find Cas sitting on the hood of the Impala. "Hey, Cas?"

"Dean, could you just leave me alone?"

"What…what is up?"

"I am just not good enough for you, am I?" Cas turns, glaring daggers.

"I don't understand."

"Of course you wouldn't, I mean you ran from your responsibilities for what. I mean what was the purpose for that!"

"Oh Cas! I didn't mean…"

"What that you feel responsible for Jess death because you were thousands of miles away and couldn't stop it? You feel as if you still need to be here for Sam and you left because of your own simple needs. Oh and another fun one you are going to do anything to find Jess's killer even if it kills you, because there is no one here who loves you and would do anything to make sure you lived. I mean I'm sure you deserved it."

"Cas…"

"No! Damn it Dean; quit throwing yourself into the fire. It may not feel this way for you, but I loved the last few months. They were in fact the greatest months of my life. Also I lost family and now you think it is ok that I can lose another one. I mean the one person that matters the most to me, the one person who saved me, wants to throw their life away. You know, but that is fine because the whole world revolves around the Winchesters and no one else matters."

"Cas, shut up!"

"What, are you going to kill yourself if I don't, because why would that matter, you would do it anyway." Tears flood Cas's face, as he continues to yell in hysterics. "Why can't you see something that is good, even when it is standing right in front of you or holding your hand?"

Before he can get another word out, I pull him in to a deep kiss. Feeling Cas relax, I pull away.

"Cas, I am so sorry. I didn't mean it, I wasn't thinking. I love you more than anything."

"I know I just wish you wouldn't try to get yourself killed. I mean I love you so much and if you die I can't do anything. Also Dean I know we haven't really talked about this, but those few months I was hoping would lead to us settling down with a kid. Want to adopt and live with you and that was what those months were about for me."

"I… honestly I have thought about it too. I would love that but first we have to deal with this and if we make it out, then maybe we can discuss this again." Cas nods and I kiss his forehead. "I love you so much."

"Love you, too."

 _Done! I hope you liked this chapter. I realize the argument on Dean dying has been done before in this story, but hey Dean has a nasty habit of dying or trying to die._


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